Real Or No Real?

I very rarely remember my dreams, whatever that says about my psychological state. However I vividly remembered the one I had last night.

Here's how the conversation didn't go...

Noel Edmonds: So, which box are you going to open first?
Me: Hmmm, number ... 5, please Noel.
Noel Edmonds: Ooh an interesting choice.
Me: Not really, it was random.
Noel Edmonds: Good, good. A sensible early strategy.
Me: What do you mean, 'strategy'?
Noel Edmonds: You must have a strategy? Anyway let's see what that box contained...
Carol: 50p Noel.
Noel Edmonds: Thanks Carol. Oh excellent, very well played. Which box do you want next?
Me: Well played what? I just chose at random. But ok, next I will have...
Noel Edmonds: Let's find out after these adverts!
...
Noel Edmonds: So, you had a good opening game there. Very similar technique to Ken from Swindon a few weeks ago.
Me: I haven't got a technique, it's all just chance.
Noel Edmonds: No, it's ... look, just pick another bloody box will you.
Me: I was going to, before the adverts. I'll have 12.
Noel Edmonds: Right, so number 12. Adrian, please tell us what's...
Me: Then 8, then 1, then 13. And 7.
Noel Edmonds: What? No, you can't...
Me: Then 6.
Noel Edmonds: You're not supposed to...
Me: Then I'll choose to deal when the banker calls, and I'll take my cheque thanks very much.
Noel Edmonds: If you're going to be like that, you can get off my show. Go on...
Me: What, you're barring me from Deal Or No Deal? Ha ha, that's one to tell the lads in the pub...
Noel Edmonds: Go on, GET OUT!
Me: Box number 84 please Noel!