Don Limpio

While doing some housework the other day, I ran into an age-old problem, solved it and caused another.

Here's how the conversation didn't go...

Me: Well, that's the beds made. Let's see if the washing has finished...
Washing Machine: Yes it has. However I'm afraid that washing your whites and reds together was not a very good idea.
Me: Oh nuts.
Washing Machine: Indeed. Good luck wearing that pink shirt to work!
Me: Very helpful. OK let me see... ah here we are. Hello there!
Bleach: Hi! Long time no see. What's up?
Me: I've pinked my white clothes.
Bleach: Uh oh. No problem, let's have a go...
...
Bleach: There you go, all fixed.
Me: Wow, thanks Bleach!
Bleach: Any time.
Me: Erm hang on a sec. This green shirt that I'm wearing now has bleached yellow spots on it.
Bleach: Yeah, and? You wanted your clothes bleached didn't you?
Me: Yeah, but not this one I'm wearing.
Bleach: You should have said so.
Me: I would have thought that was obvious.
Bleach: I would have thought that not mixing reds and whites was obvious.
Me: Touché.

Old Boiler

For once I woke up early today, so I didn't have to rush round in the morning before leaving the house. However, as I was soon to discover, I could just as well have slept some more.

Here's how the conversation didn't go...

Me: Well, time to get up. I'll go and have a shower first then have a cup of tea.
Hot Water Boiler: I don't think so mate.
Me: What?
Hot Water Boiler: I said, I don't think so. You won't be having a shower today. Unless you like cold water! Ha ha.
Me: Oh you're kidding.
Hot Water Boiler: I most definitely am not kidding. Heh heh.
Me: Great. Thanks a lot.
Hot Water Boiler: Yeah, well you should have checked your gas bottle shouldn't you?
Me: There's no indicator on it. And besides, it usually lasts 6 weeks. I reckon I've got another week yet. I'll try shaking the bottle...
Hot Water Boiler: Yes, because that always works doesn't it? Anyway, if you didn't waste so much gas by having showers and boiling eggs or whatever, you'd still have plenty left.
Me: What, if I didn't use any gas, you mean?
Hot Water Boiler: It's the best way to make it last!
Me: That's very constructive. Looks like I'd better fill the kettle...