Sevi-yawn?

On a recent trip to Sevilla, I got chatting to a barman who appeared to be familiar with Welsh naming conventions.

Here's how the conversation didn't go (the original was in Spanish, so it's true!)...

Barman: So where are you from then?
Me: North Wales, in the UK.
Barman: Ah nice, my nephew goes to university in Cardiff.
Me: Good choice! That's in the south though.
Barman: I see. So if you're from Wales, your name must be Jones then?
Me: Ha ha, close! It's Williams.
Barman: Ha ha. Do you want another beer?
Me: Of course...

A Hard Day's Fight

Today was the last holiday day of easter and my last chance to some housework in daylight hours, until next weekend. As you can imagine, I was somewhat lacking in enthusiasm. Here's how the conversation didn't go...

Me: Right, it's a nice day. I'm going to get some of these jobs done.
Laundry Basket: Ooh, me first. It's getting a bit full in here you know. Socks don't wash themselves.
Floor: Don't forget me! I'm covered in dust. You always forget about that.
My Good Conscience: It's true, you do forget. Put the washing on, give the floor a once over with the mop and then it's all done.
My Bad Conscience: Or how about you don't do any of it? It's still early, you can go back to bed for a bit.
Me: That's a good point, it is only 10am and I have the rest of the day.
Bathroom Sink: But make sure you leave plenty of time to clean in here, OK?
Me: I will, you only take 5 minutes.
My Bad Conscience: That means you still have time for a kip. Or a beer..
Me: Hmm, beer you say?
My Bad Conscience: Yes, there's one bottle left in the fridge. Drink that, then you can take the rubbish out or clean the fridge or whatever. Or not.
My Good Conscience: Erm, excuse me? What's all this talk of beer?
Me: He presents a very valid argument. I'm fairly sure that a beer will help me with this work too.
Kitchen Worktop: Well, if you're in here for a beer then you can clean all these flamin' crumbs up. I don't even like cookies.
Me: I said I'd clean it up, alright? It was only last night that I made that mess.
Kitchen Worktop: And did beer have anything to do with that?
Me: Maybe. I was a bit ... Look, I shouldn't have to explain myself to you lot. In fact, yes. I'm going to have this beer.
My Bad Conscience: He he.
My Good Conscience: Go on then. In fact, I think there are some more in the cupboard, let's get those chilling in the fridge...

New Place, Old Face

Yesterday I discovered a new place and bumped into an old friend at the same time. We had a lot of catching up to do. Here's how the conversation didn't go...

Me: Hmm, I haven't seen this place before. I wonder what's in there.
Ruiz Galan supermarket: Why don't you come inside and take a look? You'll find all your usual things that you like.
Me: Yes I think I will take a look.
...
Alhambra beer: Hey, how's things?
Me: Umm, I'm sorry do I know you?
Alhambra beer: It's me, Alhambra!
Me: Oh! Of course. Sorry, I didn't recognise you. You seem different?
Alhambra beer: Yes I'm bigger, I'm 1 litre now.
Me: Great!
Ruiz Galan supermarket: And you know what the great thing is? It's only €1.
Me: I wonder how many of these I can carry...