Bed Head

Today was my first day back at work after a four day weekend break for Easter. As you can imagine, it was pretty tricky getting up at 'normal' time after several days of getting up when I felt like it. Here's how the conversation didn't go...

Alarm Clock: HEY! WAKE UP!
Me: Ufff, do I have to?
Alarm Clock: OK 5 more minutes.
...
Alarm Clock: HEY! WAKE UP!
Me: Ufff, just 5 more minutes?
Alarm Clock: Alright, but no more.
...
Alarm Clock: HEY! WAKE UP!
Me: OK OK, I'm getting up.
Bed: Where do you think you're going?
Me: It's time to get up.
Bed: I don't think so mister. You've only been here 8 hours.
Me: Well, it is quite comfortable here.
Bed: Good thinking. Why do you even need to get up at all?
Me: What?
Bed: I mean, you're looking a bit ... 'ill', if you get me?
Me: I can't, I ... erm
Alarm Clock: No, you definitely can't do that. And besides, don't you think it will look suspicious if you call in sick the first day back after the holidays?
Me: He's got a point.
Bed: Whatever. OK go to work, see if I care. But don't complain to me when you're tired later.
Me: Don't be like that. Anyway, I'm getting up. I'll see you later?
Bed: [grumbles]
Me: What was that?
Bed: I said "have a nice day at work."
Me: Actually ... Maybe I'll just wait for this song to finish playing, then I'll get up...

A Hard Day's Fight

Today was the last holiday day of easter and my last chance to some housework in daylight hours, until next weekend. As you can imagine, I was somewhat lacking in enthusiasm. Here's how the conversation didn't go...

Me: Right, it's a nice day. I'm going to get some of these jobs done.
Laundry Basket: Ooh, me first. It's getting a bit full in here you know. Socks don't wash themselves.
Floor: Don't forget me! I'm covered in dust. You always forget about that.
My Good Conscience: It's true, you do forget. Put the washing on, give the floor a once over with the mop and then it's all done.
My Bad Conscience: Or how about you don't do any of it? It's still early, you can go back to bed for a bit.
Me: That's a good point, it is only 10am and I have the rest of the day.
Bathroom Sink: But make sure you leave plenty of time to clean in here, OK?
Me: I will, you only take 5 minutes.
My Bad Conscience: That means you still have time for a kip. Or a beer..
Me: Hmm, beer you say?
My Bad Conscience: Yes, there's one bottle left in the fridge. Drink that, then you can take the rubbish out or clean the fridge or whatever. Or not.
My Good Conscience: Erm, excuse me? What's all this talk of beer?
Me: He presents a very valid argument. I'm fairly sure that a beer will help me with this work too.
Kitchen Worktop: Well, if you're in here for a beer then you can clean all these flamin' crumbs up. I don't even like cookies.
Me: I said I'd clean it up, alright? It was only last night that I made that mess.
Kitchen Worktop: And did beer have anything to do with that?
Me: Maybe. I was a bit ... Look, I shouldn't have to explain myself to you lot. In fact, yes. I'm going to have this beer.
My Bad Conscience: He he.
My Good Conscience: Go on then. In fact, I think there are some more in the cupboard, let's get those chilling in the fridge...

Easter

Spring has sprung, the clocks have changed and it's time for Easter. Since this is my first Easter in another country, I thought I'd ask somebody about some of the cultural differences that I might expect to find. Here's how the conversation didn't go...

Me: Great, it's Easter! That means chocolate and shopping, right?
Spain: No way, those are UK 'traditions'. It's different here.
Me: So I won't get any chocolate on Sunday?
Spain: Listen. You may have noticed that all week, there have been plenty of processions with huge floats? Well each local church here has their own procession and you can see them going around the streets each evening. It's important to us here so people put a lot of effort into it.
Me: Ah yes I did see them actually, they were quite something. The ones last night were very impressive.
Spain: Indeed. And did you see all the people in pointy hats?
Me: The ones carrying candles? Yeah they were great too. Do they give out the chocolate?
Spain: Of course not. Why don't you go and check out some more processions this evening?
Me: I think I will. But when do I get my chocolate?
Spain: I give up.