Pal Pays

I was recently the victim of an attack on my Skype account and found that I had suffered financial loss as a result.

Here's how the conversation didn't go...

Filthy Miscreant: He he, I've taken over your Skype account. I'm going to make some calls to Israel and Jordan. And I notice it's linked to your PayPal account. I think I'll be topping up the credit too. Ta very much!
Me: Ooh you blighter. How do you know Jordan?
Filthy Miscreant: Very funny. I mean the country, of course.
Skype: Hey what's going on here? This account looks like it's been hacked, I think we'll be freezing it.
Filthy Miscreant: Awww.
Me: Thanks Skype.
Skype: No problem.
Me: So, can I have that money back please? It's about 50 quid.
Skype: 62 quid and 71 pence actually. But no, not unless you start a criminal investigation with your local police.
Me: I sincerely doubt that they would take that seriously.
Skype: Well, it's your choice. Sorry.
...
Me: Hey PayPal, my Skype account got broken into and I had money stolen. I'm going to ask my bank to back-charge those payments because...
PayPal: Whoah whoah whoah, ok. We don't want any back-charges thanks very much! We'll sort it out with Skype.
...
Skype: OK, here's your money. Be more careful in future.
Me: I was, I have a good password. But anyway, thanks!

A Little Less Conversation ... Please

Once again I'm going to break from convention and post a semi-real event. (Sometimes real conversations are more amusing than made-up ones.) On a recent trip back to the UK, I overheard a rather amusing misunderstanding in a book shop.

Here's how the conversation didn't go...

Customer: Excuse me.
Staff Member: I'll be with you in a second, I'm just serving this customer...
Customer: But I...
Staff Member:: Sorry madam, I just need to give this man his change and I'll be with you.
...
Staff Member: OK sorry about that. Now, how can I help?
Customer: Erm, do you have customer toilets?
Staff Member: Just bear with me a second, I'll find out for you.
...
Staff Member: I don't think we do sorry.
Customer: Oh never mind then, I'll try somewhere else. Thank you.
Staff Member: Oh but just a second, do you know the author's name?
Customer: Erm, I don't understand?
Staff Member: I mean, if you know the author's name then I can search that way? Maybe the author or the publisher?
Supervisor: If I can interrupt here, I think I can help. Customer Toilets is not a book, Jonathan. I think this lady needs the loo. Yes madam we do have a toilet, it's just round that corner past the language section.

Long Time No See

You: Hey why haven't you published any posts for a long time? I'm sure I speak on behalf of all your loyal readers when I say we really enjoy the posts. In fact, I'd say this has been your most prolific work yet.
Me: Oh gosh, you're making me blush! Anyway, I've been on a month-long sabbatical, taking time out to concentrate on a few things and so on. But don't worry, it's given me a lot of material to post here so you can rest assured that very soon you will once again be reading this high quality material on a more frequent basis.